Experiencing Freedom From Abuse

Some of us, well, probably MOST of us, have endured some form of abuse in our lives. We’ve been verbally blasted. We’ve been physically overwhelmed. We’ve been sexually assaulted. There’s a great deal of anguish that sets in as the result of these horrendous acts. For some, we experience guilt and shame as we accept fault and blame for what has occurred. For others, we close ourselves off and shut out the world.

In either case, we choose to ISOLATE.

I say “we” not because I want you to feel as if I somehow relate to your hurts; I say “we” because I too have experienced abuse. I was the victim of verbal, physical, and sexual abuse as a child. Hear me on this, I WAS the victim. Let me say that again, I WAS the victim.

WAS.

This word refers to something that is no longer here. It refers to the former. It’s past tense. It’s gone…not FORGOTTEN, but no longer in control. The trap of victimization is inevitable, it’s inescapable, it’s going to happen. I was there. I was trapped. I was lonely. I was angry. I was depressed. I was anxious. I was unforgiving. I was untrusting. I was unhappy.

I WAS.

I’ve played the role of the victim for the majority of my life. I’ve spent more years swimming in bitterness and resentment than not. It was a dark, nasty place to live. I shielded myself from forming relationships, from trusting others, from allowing myself to become vulnerable. Even after I supposedly gave my life over to Jesus, I still held on to my hurts, I still clung to my pain. I desired his salvation, but not his help.

I write these words, I share my story as someone who now lives in freedom from my past hurts, freedom from the abuse I experienced. I don’t simply live in freedom because of my relationship with Jesus. I didn’t magically wake up and somehow feel whole. I found freedom, I found joy, I found happiness, because I found FORGIVENESS. I was able to let it go, to release my trespassers from my unforgiveness.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.Romans 5:8 NKJV

It was through Jesus that God modeled forgiveness. He didn’t wait until I did something. He didn’t wait until I asked for forgiveness. I didn’t wait until I tried to make amends. He didn’t wait until I cleaned up. He simply forgave me.

Breaking free from the shackles of victimization was something I had to do. I had to let it go.

What are you holding on to? What have you yet to let go? Is your heart filled with unforgiveness? It’s time to let it go and free up some space for God to invade your life.