Why Does History Repeat Itself?

A week or so ago I wrote about an experience, a revelation, one of those straight outta nowhere BAM here comes some wisdom moments…and it all happened while staring at a fish tank (if you missed it, you can read it here). Funny how history repeats itself.

So, there I was, standing in front of the fish tank once again this morning. I THINK the fish are still in there. I HOPE they’re still alive. But I can’t tell you for sure or not because it’s covered in green crap all over again. Yes. I’ve allowed it to become a mess…again. Every morning I walk up to it, glance at it, think “Hey, I should clean that,” feed the fish, and then leave. Every night I walk up to it, glance at it, think “Hey, I should clean that,” feed the fish, and then leave. Ugh. THAT’S insanity!

That’s RECOVERY.

But here’s where the story differs from before. No, I didn’t take the initiative to finally clean it (that would simply make SENSE!). No, as my mind was coming up with more excuses to not clean the fish tank, I had an ADD moment and started daydreaming about my lawn.

You know where this is going right? If not, welcome to Step 1.

I started thinking about how I LOVE mowing the lawn. It’s not so much the activity itself so much as it’s the result when I’m done. I LOVE looking at a nice, crisp, clean, cut lawn. I LOVE the lines. I LOVE the design. I LOVE it. BUT, I wait so freakin’ long to actually mow that it becomes a chore instead of a joy.

THAT’S recovery!

Each day we face our hurts, habits, and hang-ups. We know our struggles (hopefully). We know the outcome of venturing BACK to our old ways. We know what it means to hold on to a hurt, to cling to bitterness, to act out in anger, to be sick. We know all this stuff. We’ve heard about it. We’ve read about it. We’ve LIVED it! We don’t WANT to go back, but often we do. We just sorta let it happen.

Recovery is daily maintenance. It’s us taking care of us on a daily basis. It’s that willingness to admit the wrong, identify the struggle, and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. But instead of doing the work, instead of doing the daily stuff, we let it go.

Eh, it’s not THAT bad.
I’ll get to it later.

Then BAM! The next thing you know you’re overwhelmed, you’re tired, you’re ready to give up and give in and relapse sneaks its ugly face into your life…all because you weren’t willing to do the work, the daily maintenance, the little stuff.

It’s time to start doing the work. Let’s stop. Let’s refocus. Let’s regroup. Let’s get back on track. Call your accountability partner. Reach out to someone you can trust. Devise a plan. Set a goal.

And let’s get after the LITTLE things before they grow into the BIG things.