There's More To Proximity Than Just Blowing Up

It’s all about PROXIMITY.

As a teenager I spent numerous hours, and by numerous I mean too many to count, playing one of the GREATEST games ever made…GoldenEye (Nintendo 64). The game was based on the movie…GoldenEye…a Bond movie. The movie was good; the game was AMAZING! I’d even be willing to suggest the game was inspired, but that’s another story altogether…let me get back to this idea, this concept of PROXIMITY.

In this game you ran around shooting people, blowing people up, shooting people, shooting people, and blowing people up…sounds good, eh? Well, one of the weapons available in the vast arsenal of the game were these little tiny explosive devices called PROXIMITY mines. I’d run around throwing them in odd places, hoping my buddy Nick Miller wouldn’t see them, and BOOM! Blow up.

For years, when I thought of PROXIMITY, I thought of blowing up, dying, losing, game over. And you woulda thought I applied this idea to the way I related to people. I kept people at a distant. I wouldn’t let people in. I didn’t trust them. I wouldn’t allow them to really get to know me (looking back, I’m not sure I even knew who I was).

I chose to isolate, separate, go my own way on my own, by myself. After all, I could TRUST myself. I wouldn’t let myself down. Right?

Wrong.

I’ve spent the last 3 years in the program known as Celebrate Recovery. It was here that I was introduced to the 12 Steps. I was introduced to the 8 Principles of Recovery. I was introduced to…well…myself! I’ve learned who I am. I’ve learned to step out of DENIAL, acknowledging my shortcomings, my faults, my struggles AND how to overcome them! And it’s in this program I’ve learned how to build healthy relationships.

I remember the first time I attended an Open-Share Small Group Discussion. I sat there bewildered by the honesty, the openness, the rawness of the sharing. Guys were talking about stuff that society says keep secret. Guys were sharing their struggles. These men were crying, allowing themselves to be vulnerable. It freakin’ blew my mind! Let me tell you something, once you share your “darkest” secrets with a group of people, you discover what it means to TRUST someone and build true FRIENDSHIPS.

My perspective on PROXIMITY, at least as it pertains to PEOPLE, has completely changed. Here are just a few of the words I think of now when I hear the word PROXIMITY:

Closeness.
Togetherness.
Community.
Partnership.
Family.
Friendship.
Accountability.
Nearness.

We NEED each other. We cannot do life alone. We definitely cannot do recovery alone.