Do You Think I'm Codependent?

19And he came to Ephesus, and left them there; but he himself entered the synagogue and reasoned with the Jews. 20When they asked him to stay a longer time with them, he did not consent, 21but took leave of them, saying, “I must by all means keep this coming feast in Jerusalem; but I will return again to you, God willing.” And he sailed from Ephesus.
Acts 18:19-21 NKJV

This may seem like an odd bit of Scripture to find encouragement. Let’s be real. Here’s Paul. He’s awesome. He’s stopped by the town of _________ (Ephesus, but go ahead and plug your town in there to make it personal). He walks into the local church and starts talking about Jesus. He’s got one of those personalities people are just drawn to. People want to be WITH him and be AROUND him. And then, almost abruptly, he announces to everyone that he’s gotta go.

“It’s been great, but I gotta roll out.”

I don’t know if you’ve ever face this scenario, but it’s tough knowing someone is about to leave. It’s like being handed a scoop of your favorite ice cream only to have it taken away shortly after you started to eat it (by the way, if you try this with me, we WILL fight). We see the situation through OUR eyes and OUR perspective and OUR perspective is limited at best. We know OUR needs and OUR desires and sometimes it’s difficult to see beyond that. Again, how is this even remotely encouraging?

I’m encouraged by Paul and his leadership.

People pleasing is a DANGEROUS game to play. Paul knew this. It’s evident. They LOVE him. They can’t get enough of him. They want him to stay. And how does he respond?

“I love you too. I couldn’t possibly leave without you. You NEED me! It’s my responsibility to stay and help you become the men and women God wants you to be. Please, allow me to stay and fix you.”

Right…

No way! He LEFT! They asked him to STAY and he LEFT! This BLOWS MY MIND! I have a tendency to be a people pleaser (AKA codependency). I’m overly mindful of people’s feelings and what they might think of me. It’s not a good thing. And I find Paul’s encounter with the Ephesians encouraging because it shows me that I do not always have to say YES!

I’m not the answer. Jesus is.
I don’t know your next step. The Holy Spirit does.
I can’t fix you. God will.

Reflect:

• When was the last time you said, “I’m sorry,” for something you didn’t even do?
• How often do you find yourself wondering what someone else is thinking about you?
• Are you more concerned with the feelings of others than your own?
• Who do you struggle telling, “no,”?