Healthy Relationships Are A Choice

14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. 17Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
Romans 12:14-19 NKJV

Bless those who persecute you? Really? When God whispered this into Paul’s ear (as I like to imagine it happening) did He REALLY know what He was saying? This just doesn’t FEEL right!

What about cutting someone down with sarcasm? Or calling them out in front of a large crowd of people? Or gossiping with half the story (my half of course…)? Can’t I just punch them in the face for what they did? Wait, what if I merely THINK about all the things I’d like to do to them because of what they did to me?

Nope.
Can’t do it.
God says BLESS them.
Where’s the fun in THAT?

You and I always have a CHOICE. We are in the control of our RESPONSE. The obvious choice is to response in a similar fashion, after all, it SEEMS to make us FEEL better, but does it really? Satan will try to convince you of it, but I don’t think so. Then we gotta deal with guilt and that’s no fun. God says to live at PEACE with one another, to BLESS one another.

I believe this is one of those “God knows best” moments. He says (and I paraphrase), “Don’t bother GETTING BACK at people; just LOVE them.” Ugh…

But…
But…
What about…
You don’t know…
I’ve carried this around…
They…
She…
He…
I…

Excuses. Nothing but excuses. God didn’t say, “make excuses” He said, “love people.” That’s hard. Especially when they’ve hurt us. Here’s the deal: HURT people HURT people. Most people are simply responding OUT OF a place of hurt, so of course they response with MORE hurt. You can continue down that same path OR you can break the cycle of dysfunction and respond with LOVE.

FORGIVE those who have hurt you.
BLESS those who have offended you.
Find PEACE in your relationships.

Don’t make EXCUSES, make a DIFFERENCE.

Reflect:

• Unforgiveness leads to resentment which leads to bitterness which leads to anger… do any of these words describe any of your relationships with others?
• Why do you feel a tendency to GET BACK at somebody instead of MAKE PEACE?
• What does it look like to BLESS someone when they’ve hurt or harmed you?
• Make a LIST of your relationships, past and present, and identify them as either HEALTHY or UNHEALTHY.
• Are you willing to make amends with those who have harmed you? What’s your next step in the process of making it happen?