Quit Playing Games With My Heart

Today, I’m bringing a close to the 3-part series, “Jesus Always Has Something Better For You.” In case you’ve missed the past few days or just happen to stumble upon the blog this morning, you can read parts 1 & 2 here:

1. It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To

2. Jesus + Nothing = Everything

I don’t have what I would call a “church background.” I mean, don’t get me wrong, I attended 2 or 3 church services as a child (Easter and Christmas Eve), but that was about it. I remember absolutely LOVING the architecture of the St. James Cathedral in Seattle as well as the sound of the choir singing in the balcony behind us. I had NO CLUE what the guy was talking about or why we had to stand up and sit down and kneel and do it again, but I was just a kid. I was more concerned with getting OUT OF that building and getting home to play. I didn’t CONNECT with God because I didn’t SEE Him, I didn’t RECOGNIZE Him or even remotely know I was supposed to be LOOKING FOR Him. So, instead of running TO Him, I was ready to run AWAY FROM Him.

Recently I read the story below and it made me think of my childhood:

Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea. But the other disciples came in the little boat (for they were not far from land, but about two hundred cubits), dragging the net with fish. Then, as soon as they had come to land, they saw a fire of coals there, and fish laid on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish which you have just caught.”
John 21:7-10 NKJV

Quit playing games with my heart.

So, here’s Peter. I imagine he’s still kinda stressed and worried and struggling with guilt and shame, after all, a few days prior he stood back and watched as his friend and teacher, Jesus, was beaten and murdered and, if that wasn’t enough, he DENIED knowing him while it was happening. I can’t speak FOR Peter, but I know I’D be struggling. Probably the biggest indicator that he’s struggling (at least through MY interpretation of the story) is Peter comes up with the idea to go FISHING. What? Really? Why?

Think of the times when you’ve been struggling the most. You’re depressed. You’re sad. You’re wanting to break free, isolate, and disconnect from everything and everyone. It’s a defense mechanism. And, just in case you were wondering, it’s NOT a healthy one. I believe Peter comes up with the idea to go FISHING because it’s a distraction. He knows it’ll take the focus off of the RIGHT NOW. He won’t have to think about the pain and hurt of his CIRCUMSTANCE. 

Quit playing games with my heart.

God is BIGGER than any obstacle you might be facing. God doesn’t see the VALLEY, He sees the VICTORY! Peter couldn’t see the victory because he couldn’t see Jesus. He was stuck in his mess. He was depressed or whatever he was going through. But once he SAW Jesus, once he RECOGNIZED Jesus, he didn’t STAY WHERE HE WAS! Peter jumped OUT of the boat and swam TO Jesus. There was no question, no doubt WHERE Peter wanted to be and WHO he wanted to see!

When Peter’s focus shifted from Jesus to himself, he was LOST and ALONE, lacking any and all direction. When his eyes found Jesus that all changed. He was immediately filled with HOPE and EXCITEMENT! He couldn’t contain himself or wait to get around him (HELLO! He freakin’ jumped OUT of the boat!).

I think back to that kid in the cathedral and I see Peter. I see a kid who lacked purpose and direction because I lacked RECOGNITION. I didn’t see Jesus. In fact, I didn’t see Jesus for a LONG time. And because I didn’t SEE Jesus I didn’t know where TO GO (unlike Peter who saw Jesus and knew he needed to get in his presence). My heart is fickle. When I SEE Jesus I am PUMPED and EXCITED for life! I have a sense of purpose and direction and believe God can and will do AMAZING things in my life. When I LOSE SIGHT of Jesus I am depressed, anxious, worried, and stressed out. It’s time to quit playing games with my heart and fix my eyes on Jesus.

Reflect:

• If you were to SEE Jesus, would you RECOGNIZE him?
• Do you spend more time running TO Jesus or sprinting AWAY FROM him?
• What changes take place in your heart when you get in God’s presence?
• Are you ready to quit playing games with your heart?